There is an old saying that goes, “Woodrow Wilson proved that the country can survive without a president. Dwight Eisenhower proved we can profit without one.” Well, we’ve tried everything governmentally possible to stem the tide of economic woes. Maybe we should try some ideas that do not emanate from Washington. I have a few suggestions.
First, we need to increase the unemployment ranks by 536. We don’t need to fire all of Congress and the President. We just need to lay them of for about six months so they won’t get in the way of actual work being done. Alphabet soup agency employees will have to be cryogenically frozen until such time (if any) that we can afford them. Local communities will take care of our own for a while.
Second, we tell the labor unions that all contracts are going to have to take a brief hiatus. That $20 an hour job sweeping up the airport is going to have to pay whatever the market will bear while we get back on our feet. Somebody needs to explain that, it is winter, and they need to stop picking the fruit while the trees are bare.
At the same time, we tell corporate America that they will be allowed one lawyer, one accountant, and one president for each 500 employees. If they get up to 2000 employees they get one vice-president. However, under no circumstances will there be a “Vice-president of Internal Communications.” Get a PA system for about $100 at Radio Shack. They could use the sale.
We replace the income and capital gains taxes with a 50% income tax on consultants and a 100% sales tax on consulting fees . This will take the burden of paying for waste off of the successful and place it on the unproductive.
Finally, for the foreseeable future the Defense Department is going to have to settle for defending us. A double saving can be realized by bringing our finest young people home from places where they get shot at for their sacrifice and stationing them someplace where they will be loved and respected. I’m thinking Texas, Arizona, and maybe Detroit.
You may be saying, “But, who will administer this plan?” You may be asking, “How will we pay for its implementation?” The answer is, “I have no idea.” We’ll just call it a health care plan, and worry about the details later.
Photo by Thomas Hawk
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